First Annual Benefit Concert for the Survivors of the First Annual Vodka Box Social and Pie Fight for Charity

The First Annual Benefit Concert for the Survivors of the First Annual Vodka Box Social and Pie Fight for Charity will be held January 2nd in San Diego's beautiful FunYun Dome.

The event will be a solemn occasion, a tribute to those lost, maimed, or irreparably pied during our disastrous November fund-raising effort. We will not only pay homage to the fallen, but also look down the long, bumpy road ahead for those still recovering from the physical, emotional, and spiritual scars left by the violence.

Therapy pamphlets will be available, rubber wristbands honoring the event will be on sale (in a lovely shade of lavender, touchingly inscribed: "Never Forget ~ Pie"), and a Trust Circle and Group Hug-in will be held for our more photogenic attendees. Sorry, but no one likes to see ugly people cry.

The event proper will begin at 1:00pm, with a slide-show memorializing our lost friends and contributors. The families of the deceased will be in attendance, so please, we urge everyone to try and avoid clapping louder for the more popular and accomplished members of the dearly departed.

And then, what better way to help the recently traumatized recuperate than a little old-fashioned, 90-decibel, rock n' roll!

The OFGWBTSMBKP will rock the shit out of some gimped-up mofos, when a cavalcade of music's brightest stars open up their hearts and entertain our brave survivors, or those who contributed the minimum $7500 Gold Member amount to gain admittance.

Performers will include local rap phenom-to-be, J. B*tchslap, sitcom theme composer Albert Walter Long, the surviving members of legendary INXS cover band INXS-able, 80's New Wave sensation Red Death, and, of course, our dear friend and generous contributor, Mr. John Oates.

John will lead us all in a group prayer for those still with us, and a four-minute moment of silence for those who are not. After which, get ready to be Dick-rolled, as pop mega-wonder Rick Astley's brother, Dick Astley, takes to the stage for a medley of his brother's rockingest chart-topping hits!

It promises to be an evening of tears, cheers, laughs, and dreams, so join us, and open your hearts and wallets to those in need of your support. Continue to give, continue to dream. Namaste.